Dorian Gray Corner 2: How to avoid being gauche

Any time I am at conventions or other gatherings of steampunks, I am often struck by the skill with which those in attendance have assembled their outfits.  This does not, however, prevent certain individuals from making some truly appalling fashion choices.  Often, this is simply a matter of bad judgment, and with that spirit in mind the Dorian Gray corner has returned to provide some insight into how not to walk out the door in an outfit of such atrocious construction that it could make even a blind person wince.

1.        Before you even THINK about buying something for an outfit, as a steampunk, it behooves you to make damned sure that what you are purchasing is, in fact, unique.  I am sure we have all seen the infamous steampunk octopus – a metal cut out whose ubiquity on Etsy (and Regretsy) has becomes veritable legend.  Don’t show up at a con decked out in the generic ‘steampunk’ refuse that talentless hacks have taken to peddling in the hope of a quick buck and at the expense of any number of good clocks. 

2.       Avoid shoddy workmanship like the PLAGUE.  Remember, if you have an opportunity to wear a full steampunk outfit, you want to SHINE, and if your outfit was clearly constructed cheaply, it WILL show. 

3.       Dress to your body type.  Anyone can look stylish, but it hinges on a person being willing to dress to their body, rather than trying to force yourself into an outfit that may suit an idealized human being.  As per example, I have an hourglass figure, with emphasis on both the top and bottom of the hourglass.  As such, I will not wear a vest unless it has a corseted back, as a regular vest will simply hang straight from my upper assets and give the impression that I am an extremely fat cylinder.  So, even though I love vests, I forego them. 

4.       Consider what you will be doing in this getup.  Do not wearing revealing clothes in subzero weather, do not wear a long-line corset if you intend to be able to bend over, and don’t wear high heels if you are hoping to run anywhere.  Apply some common sense. 

5.       Once you have gotten into your outfit, take a look in the mirror.  Then walk away.  Then return and look again.  If you can, view the outfit in several different kinds of light.  Zero in on anything that jars with the rest of the outfit, and no matter how much it pains you, remove these from the outfit.

6.       Beware of looking ‘clunky’.  Steampunk outfits tend to lend themselves to a lot of gadgets, and this is fine to a certain degree.  One must remember, however, that it behooves one to adhere to rule 2.  If you’re getting dressed up, make sure you’re exhibiting only the best of your collection, and always adhere to Coco Chanel’s maxim that, before one goes out the door, take off one accessory. 

7.       Make sure your attitude suits your outfit.  After all, if you have the chance to dress the part, it’s also time to act the part.  So don’t be afraid to play your role to the hilt. 

A Bevy of Steampunk Beverages

I am not ashamed to say that I love a good drink.  With few exceptions, I have found most wines, beers, and hard liquor in all its varied forms to be wonderful, wonderful things.  Of course that train of thought has led me to eventually seek out the best and the brightest – as well as the strangest – in the realms of alcohol.  So, for your delectation and delight, some examples of beer, wine, and general booze that I classify as steampunk!

1.        Kraken Rum:  This probably goes without saying, all things considered.  The label/bottle alone are extremely good reasons to buy it.  The rum itself, however, may take some getting used to for those more accustomed to Captain Morgan and Bacardi.  It packs a serious, burning punch when you drink it straight (as myself and some of my more adventurous friends have been known to do.) In mixed drinks it loses that nasty/lovely caustic element and goes down nice and smooth.  The flavor is heavy on vanilla, with other spices like cinnamon and cloves acting as ‘backup dancers’, if you will.  (Please note, you must say ‘Release the Kraken’ when you open it.  It’s the law.)

2.       Steam Whistle Beer:  I mentioned this umpteen blog posts ago, but Steam Whistle, if you can get it, is an excellent, light, Canadian pilsner, eminently drinkable.  It goes great with luncheon type food and is very refreshing.  The label itself is what causes me to class it as steampunk, and the brilliant green bottle is also very pretty to look at.  One small problem; I haven’t been able to find it in the US, despite much scowering. 

3.       Ichabod ale:  From the New Holland brewery, this is a wonderful seasonal beer.  They use pumpkins in the mix (which I cannot taste) and spices (which I most definitely can).  The end result is one of the few dark-er beers that I actually enjoy.  (As a rule of thumb I almost always drink IPAs, partially because I love how they taste but also because most people don’t like them and therefore won’t steal mine.)

4.       Midas Touch:  Derived from the chemical sampling of the inside of an ancient, cauldron, this stuff is apparently pretty damn close to what ancient people used to get sloshed on.  It’s good, albeit pricey (saffron is used in the brewing process), middle of the range on the sliding scale of pale to dark beers, and while I don’t know that it’s one of my favorites, it’s still a great way to strike up conversation at parties.

5.       Biere de Mars:  An awesome Belgian beer, this stuff comes in an ENORMOUS bottle, and you will be tempted to drink it all in one go.  And in this case, you can give in to temptation.  The stuff is amazing -light, bubbly, and otherworldly.  It makes me want to climb aboard the Enterprise or the TARDIS and go whizzing through space.

I have not, however, been able to find a steampunk gin.  Any suggestions on that front are welcome. 

Dorian Gray Corner 1: Designing an outfit

I’ve been asked several times how I go about putting together my Steampunk clothing ensembles: Where exactly do I get my ideas, how do I bring them to fruition, etcetera. So I’m going to let you, my dear readers, in on my various secrets in this series of articles, named after one of the most appearance obsessed book characters of all time.

First of all, one important thing to bear in mind is that anyone attempting to put together an outfit of any sort needs to rely on their sense of taste and style. Taste, of course, can be a rather subjective concept, and if one feels that one’s own sense isn’t up to par, it’s advisable to involve someone else in the proceedings if for nothing else than a second opinion. Indeed, even if you normally feel your fashion abilities surpass those of everyone around you, it’s still advisable to ask someone else what they think before you go traipsing out the door wearing some bizarre concoction of clothes. (Note: This rule is negated if the central conceit of your outfit is of a grand enough scale. Or if you are Lady Gaga.)
Now, on to the actual designing of an outfit. When I begin the process of coming up with some new Steampunk get up I always start off with some sort of inspiration. As per example, the idea for the ensemble I wear during my Steampunk makeup and clothing tutorial on my youtube channel (http://www.youtube.com/user/yankee999?feature=mhee#p/u/3/BhaS9VcE560) was derived from the character Grell a la the manga Black Butler. I started by pinpointing Grell’s central color scheme of black, white, and bright red (black, white, and red is also arguably Sebastian’s color scheme, but his red is more a shade of maroon or claret while Grell’s is more in line with the color of blood or roses.) From there I assessed what clothes I had that fit that schematic, as well as the general visual tone of the manga (clean lines, minimal visual foofrah) and from there weeded out any excessively lacey or gauzy pieces of clothing. What was left was a pinstriped skirt made from black suiting, a black blouse, black-red-and-white corset, black boots, and black bustle coat. I assembled this, then added a silver pendant strung on a red ribbon, garnet earrings, and some makeup. Ta-dah! Outfit complete.
This same process can be followed by anyone. Pick a starting point for inspiration, assess the color and style of the inspiration, find clothes + jewelry + makeup that match that style, then put it all together and out the door you go.